Bird Day

It's her birthday. I wasn't able to give her anything but I think a gift would be too much and too sudden for now. I know, I said I wouldn't try to hide what I feel but I think earnest displays of affection would probably be detrimental at this point. I think I'll stick to friendly flirtation for now.

Familiar madness

I can't believe how much it galls me whenever I fail to see her or when she doesn't answer my messages. I know, we're just friends right now but I can't help but expect too much from her. I mean, I want to see her everyday and I want her to respond to my greetings. I've almost forgotten this feeling. I need to watch myself. I must keep my composure.

Small talk

It feels good talking to her.

Work issue

Getting to work on time is becoming a challenge. Too many damned distractions and not enough motivation to do good in the office... I must have racked up at least a day's worth of tardy hours last month. This month is no different. I need to do something about this. I don't want attention from the management right now.

Climate shift

I saw a dragonfly this morning. I almost forgot that those things need plenty of water to breed. The weather has been pretty bad these past few days. It's been raining constantly late in the day. The frogs are out in force. At night, their collective cries sound like a roar. The dry season is over, I guess.

Contact

I finally managed to gather enough nerve to walk up to her and ask her name... or rather, it was more like I unexpectedly ran into her and had to say something because it was getting ridiculous to be not on speaking terms with her when it's already obvious that I have a thing for her. I could have just smiled and walked by but I think it would be telling her something if I didn't try to talk to her when she's right there in my face. I like her and I want to be clear about that. I don't intend to simply leave vague clues this time. If I get shot down, fine.

It didn't go so bad though. She didn't run away. She even asked my name. I was so nervous that I forgot to introduce myself first. I probably could have asked for her number but there were people around us at the time. The last thing I'd want right now is for people to know I'm interested in anyone. People in the office, they like to tell stories. It's like the official workplace pastime. Maybe when I meet her again...

Dragonflies

I remember when I was young going out under the sun to play with dragonflies. I'd sneak up to them and catch them by their wings, I've learned early that grabbing them by their tails don't usually yield complete specimens. Sometimes I'd use rubber bands to shoot them when I'm not too worried about getting them in one piece. I know, it's a cruel thing to do but I was just a kid having some fun with bugs. I'm pretty sure everyone have used magnifying glasses to fry insects at least once in their childhood. Anyway, I don't really know why but I suddenly started thinking about all of that. I haven't seen one of those things for a while now.

Growing fascination

All right, I think I've mentioned earlier that I'm starting to notice this girl in the office. I think she notices me too. I don't think I'm imagining it when I see her smile at me when we walk past each other. I don't want to read too much into it though. She may just be responding to the funny face I make when I see her. I can't help but put on this stupid smile when she's around.

Anyway, this has been going on for months now. I think it's nearly close to a year since I first saw her. Weird thing is, I still don't know her name. I've had plenty of opportunity to approach her and try to make some small talk but for some reason I can't. I think I'm still scared to make that first move. Being shot down twice isn't very good for morale. I need to do something about that....

Damn it.

Again.

Scribbles

Bored. Listening to music. I have so many things I want to write about but I can't seem to find the time to do so. I don't even know where to start... I guess I'll just write about whatever crosses my mind at the moment...

I've just had my first real meal since I've had my braces on. My teeth hurt like hell when I tried to eat on the first night. I remember the saying, "No pain, no gain." I guess that's absolutely true when it comes to having your teeth realigned. The price of vanity.... It's a good thing I took a few days off work the week after the procedure. God knows what would have happened if I did my regular shifts on those days when I was unable to eat solid food.

I spent most of the time off work at grandma's home. It's been like ages since I last paid her a visit. The plan was to be at her place by March 30, the day my grandfather passed away, and spend my birthday with her and the folks. I left late afternoon last Sunday. By that evening I was washing off dust in the shower at the house.

I think it's funny how some people seem to grow old but not some. Grandma still looks exactly the way she looked the last time I was there which was more than a year ago. Maybe when we get too old we get to the point where we don't get older anymore. She's not that ancient yet, mind you. I guess I'm just relieved to see her in a much better shape than my imagination sometimes makes me think about people her age. I worry too much sometimes.

Uh, what else... I guess that's all for now.

Metal

I'm trying to get used to the funny sensation in my mouth right now. The dentist finally planted the metal on my teeth about a few hours ago. I was expecting that to happen sooner but what I thought were simple teeth extractions turned out to be agonising procedures that involved tearing open my gums and crushing those damned wisdom teeth that didn't emerge properly. Both of them were impacted, the dentist said. The operations to take them out were not the most pleasant of experiences... Anyway, now I have to learn how to eat all over again. This is going to be a challenge...